God, I knew this one was coming.
Well, let me just begin by saying that their relationship does not depend on them being near each other and leaning on each other so much as it does on both of them just knowing that the other is alright.
I mean, she’s probably more dependent on Sirius, actually. Speaking of, A DRABBLE ON THIS TOPIC IS IN PROGRESS. I’M SORRY I’M SLOW.
They grew up together. As a child, Andromeda was very loving and selfless and open. She let people in without question. That included her parents, her sisters, her cousins, and the people she grew up with. That included Evan. Growing up, she started building walls around herself with the realization that certain people only loved her for certain things, and if she obeyed certain rules. That didn’t mean that she stopped loving the people she loved. In a way, she will always love them the way she loved them as a child. But that also means she has trouble seeing the people they’ve become because she only sees the children they once were. Because that was the only time they were truly a family. Because that’s what she wants to get back to.
And every time she sees even a glimpse of that past in a person, she will hold on to it. She will protect it. She will not let it go.
In Bellatrix, she’s lost hope. Narcissa keeps pushing her away. And Sirius… well he’s Sirius. He’s found his own family now - at least that’s what Andromeda feels.
Evan, however, is there. Barely. But he’s there. She still sees the little boy she grew up with and she wants that to stay. So she checks up on him, but she also keeps her distance. Knowing he’s alright helps her feel alright.
It’s him, Regulus, and Addie that she’s still hoping to keep.
Idk. It’s complicated.
Besides, Evan is close to all of the Black Sisters. And Andromeda is close to both the Rosier siblings. They’re all close and have different relationships. But in a way, yes, they all depend on each other. Or used to.
LONG STORY SHORT: She wasn’t always so ‘dependent’ on Evan, or maybe she wasn’t aware of it. But she is now because he’s basically the only family she’s got left. And he’s consistently been there for her, in his own way. Wouldn’t you cling to that, too?
HELPFUL LINKS TO SERVE AS PUZZLE PIECES: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)
“I hate that I didn’t get to say goodbye. But I guess I didn’t deserve to.”
You’re supposed to say ‘if you choose to accept it’.
Which I don’t. My only mission is to survive.
Rosier’s summer home. 1977.
She didn’t know that running away from home meant running straight to him. Andromeda didn’t know what it meant or why her first thought was to find Evan, as if once again they were little kids playing a fantasy and everything would be alright as long as the blue-eyed fairy found her lost boy. But she was the one lost this time. Or had she always been? Had they always been the same?
Funny you’re the broken one but I’m the only one who needed saving
All she knew that there was safety in his presence, even hope. And it didn’t matter if they were both lost as long as they didn’t wander too far apart, as long as they didn’t lose each other.
It was just her name and the sort of polite smile she had grown accustomed to receiving in polite acknowledgement of a bond that had once been so much stronger and so much more certain. It had been one that she knew she could count on no matter what.
At first, it had been strange to realise that their interactions boiled down to slight inclinations of the head as they passed each other, brief eye contact and the slightest of courteous smiles. Nothing of real substance passed between them for so long and when being pressured to choose a maid of honor at her wedding, her thoughts had immediately and bitterly gone to the playful thought of making Peter wear a dress or Marlene wear a suit and next to asking Alecto as a way of extending an olive branch. Only after those thoughts came and went did she wonder if it would even be appropriate to ask Andromeda.
It hadn’t felt right and so she put it off with the repeated insistence that she could do it later.
What really happened, Glen?
They reached her just as she came close to her night table to pull open a drawer. Her hand paused, fingertips resting against smooth wood. The words felt too loud in a too quiet room.
There were things that she could say: cruel, pitiless, bitter words but she kept them to herself. After all, whatever happened between them was as much her own fault as it was Andromeda’s. She repeated the question again in her mind.
What really happened, Glen?
And the sound of an unused nickname almost caused her to choke up for the briefest and strangest of moments.
“I was tired.” Glenda didn’t look at Andromeda as she spoke but also made no move to continue what she had been doing with her drawer. What had she been looking for? Tired was a horrid understatement but she couldn’t be bothered to go into the details. Why mention her father’s attempted murder or the night spent with Amycus after pulled her from the edges of death? What would it achieve? Her words are flatter than had been with Marlene, blunter than they had been Melody, vaguer than they had been with Mary. “I was tired and I just wanted everything to stop. I tried to make it stop and Mary found me before I achieved what I wanted.”
I was tired.
Andromeda turned around to face Glenda, to look into the other’s eyes.
It was a phrase that could have easily come out from her own lips. Andromeda’s whole being, it seemed was tired. Tired eyes to match her tired heart. But this - how she was now - was only the aftermath of everything that had happened. Her soul had been drained of every fight there was left in her, and no one had noticed.
I was tired and I just wanted everything to stop.
Had the same thing been happening to Glenda? And Andromeda, her supposed best friend, had failed to notice? They were too busy falling to notice that the two of them were falling apart. Would things be different if they had been there for each other? Would things be better if they had faced their problems together?
Maybe. But it was too late for that. What they had to face now were the consequences. The aftermath. Picking up the pieces. Things could be different now.
I tried to make it stop and Mary found me before I achieved what I wanted.
Andromeda stood up and walked over to Glenda’s bed. She didn’t sit down, didn’t want to force things. “I should’ve been there for you,” she spoke shakily, her voice trying to find solid ground. “I’m sorry I wasn’t - I mean, I’m glad that Mary was there for you, to stop you..”
Andromeda hesitated. “That’s not even what I meant by me being there for you. I should’ve been there for you through everything. I’m sorry that I ever stopped.”
“Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead
If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted all the time
There had been a time when the dungeons offered things to her that the rest of the castle simply couldn’t: serenity, silence, comfort, isolation. Time to think over this or that. Winding corridors of uneven stone slabs with statues that followed her progress and portraits that had grown accustomed to her wanderings even in the latest hours of night.
Yet, everything felt inescapable. It hissed and snapped at her heels and growled in the back of her mind. Just as she neared the desperately needed fields of calm it felt that she was dragged backwards to be swallowed whole and there was nothing that she could do about it. There were so many people in the castle. Portraits eyed her suspiciously where they had once greeted her and they even gossiped amongst themselves, flitting from frame to frame to talk about both herself and other unlucky students.
Her dungeons were no longer a refuge.
Talking with Marlene, talking with Peter, talking with people whose hearts she could have damaged with her success was difficult beyond anything that she could have imagined. Alecto had given her something to think about but the ideas had to be placed on the back burner as she attempted damage control with her loved ones.
She had just wanted some peace and quiet and maybe even to have a few moments to hug her owl and cry in the privacy of her own bed. The sight that greeted her wasn’t at all what she had wanted. Her owl, presumably visiting Peter or Marlene or Melody or Mary, was gone.
“Andromeda.” Glenda said the name blankly, surprised. Why, though? Once upon a time, they had been as close as sisters. Best friends. They knew everything about each other in days gone by. She cleared her throat and denied the urge to turn around and leave again. Instead, she just wrapped her arms around herself.
The fact that she didn’t know what else to say struck her unpleasantly.
It occurred quite too late to Andromeda that she had nothing to say to Glenda. She had sat there on her bed, waiting. Andromeda had hoped she’d get to speak to her. But, now that Glenda was here, Andromeda’s words weren’t. With her mouth already opened, she could only nod and reply, “Glenda.” There was a ghost of a smile on her face, a feeble attempt at recreating the warmth that had once been so effortless between them.
Then she looked away, turning her back against Glenda and her face down towards the floor instead. Was this what they had become? From being inseparable to being a thousand miles apart inside the four walls of one room? Andromeda breathed out a sigh, hoping with it she had breathed out the guilt and hurt. “What really happened, Glen?” she muttered softly. She wondered if Glenda had heard it. She wondered if this silence between them had already drowned her voice out and she was too late.
031: She understood why he ran away. Really, she did. Her more than the others. Of course, she understood. Still, she was angry - no, furious at him when he finally left. Of all the people she could be so dangerously mad at, she was mad at Sirius.
But Andromeda showed none of the anger and none of the hurt, fully aware that she was being watched. Her parents expected her to follow in his footsteps, as she always had since they were little, and leave the moment that Sirius did. But she didn’t leave. She stayed put.
They didn’t understand why she didn’t leave. Really, they didn’t. Them less than anyone in the world who knew her. Of course, they didn’t. Still, they expected her to. Because what they did understand was that she loved Sirius, that they shared the same views, that he had always been her favorite person. It was only natural that when Sirius run away she would follow. It should have been.
Andromeda stayed put because she couldn’t leave. Deep down, she didn’t want to. She never did. And she was mad at Sirius for wanting to leave when leaving meant leaving Regulus behind, leaving her behind. She was mad at Sirius for wanting to leave when they were supposed to stick together.
I wasn’t aware of just how much drama there is until I got back from St. Mongo’s. It’s completely mental. More mental than a unicorn.
Oh, come on, it’s always been like this. It’s been like this since the four founders got together. Godric and Salazar? Drama so big we’re still living it. I’m sorry about your injury, by the way. How long have you got until you can play Quidditch again?
